


Being Human is Not Easy

by swedishfangirlsftw



Series: Indulgent Queer Supernatural Works [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Gender Issues, tbh dean is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 21:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5681167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swedishfangirlsftw/pseuds/swedishfangirlsftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel tries to navigate existence as a human. Some things are not understood as well as others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human is Not Easy

**Author's Note:**

> I found this on my computer and even though I haven't watched Supernatural in over a year I thought I might as well publish this. It's over a year since I wrote this apparently and I think I had meant to write more but I thought it wasn't half bad as it is, so I hope you will enjoy!

Being human is not easy. This Castiel knew, of course they did. They had watched over humanity for several millennia, after all. But watching over human beings and being one themself were two vastly different things. There was much confusion. Even mundane, everyday tasks such as eating, sleeping and using bathroom facilities just didn’t translate well for a former wave of celestial intent. It was, simply put, bewildering.

Castiel wanted to learn though. They wanted to be able to live as a human, with all that entailed with the epithet. That was their role now.

Fortunately they were not wholly alone on this endeavour. The Winchesters had welcomed Castiel into their lives and their home many times before, when Castiel was still connected to the Host - but now it was a permanent situation. The bunker was spacious and Castiel was grateful when they were offered a room all of their own. It was a nice room, they supposed, though they had little to compare it with. But no matter the condition of it – it was theirs. Their very own room. Castiel decided that this meant they were well on their way of being a regular human being. They did know that many humans in the world did not have rooms of their own, sometimes not even a home of any kind. The knowledge made Castiel even more grateful for the hospitality of the Winchester brothers. Especially when considering the many times Castiel had made Sam and Dean’s lives so much more difficult than they already were.

With a room came possessions. Or at least, that was what Sam claimed. He had asked Castiel if they wanted their clothes washed with the other laundry and Castiel had simply stated that they had no other clothes to switch into, but they could go nude until the clothes were properly washed, thank you Sam. Sam’s reaction had been to take Castiel on an impromptu trip to the closest shopping mall. While at the mall Castiel ran into a new, unforeseen problem with their newfound humanity: gendered clothing.

“Sam, why will you not let me try this on?”

Sam’s discomfort was obvious. He let out a small laugh and looked away from Castiel. “Because you’re a guy and guys don’t wear dresses. So put that down and let’s go and have you try on those shirts and pants, ok?”

Castiel considered this for a moment. “But Sam, I am not a man. I do not see how this ‘rule’ would apply to me.”

If Sam had looked uncomfortable before it was nothing compared to the way he looked after Castiel’s comment. “What do you mean, Cas? Of course you’re a guy. It’s very obvious.”

“How?”

“Just, your body! Your voice, mannerisms… You know, all of you. You’re obviously male. And that’s why we should put away that dress and go try on the other clothes.”

With a sigh Castiel had put the bright yellow dress back on its hanger and followed Sam to the changing rooms. They ended up with new, Sam-approved clothes from the male side of the shop and when the two of them arrived back home at the bunker Sam took Castiel's old clothes and put them with the other dirty laundry. As Castiel made their way into the kitchen in an outfit compromised entirely of their new clothes they passed the hallway mirror. What they saw was Jimmy Novak dressed like the Winchesters, all jean and plaid and dark, muted colours. They looked rough, ragged, hardened and nothing like Castiel. 

So being human was tricky. On all levels. And Castiel did want to be human. They wanted to be good at it. And if that meant that they would be called a man and that they could not dress however they wanted then so be it. Castiel would not complain. They had survived so many hardships as an angel; there was no question that this was durable. (If only that little voice in the back of their head would stop whispering that it was in fact not.)


End file.
